Big Kid Wearing!

I began babywearing in 2003 when my daughter, Bella was born.  My purple Maya wrap was undoubtedly the best baby gift I received.  I found babywearing a natural step in parenting. It helped me bond, meet her needs, and was an aid in nursing when we were out.  Two years later my son, Declan was born, and wearing him had the same advantages.  However, my husband deployed to Iraq for 13 months and I had a toddler to keep up with as well as care for an infant. Babywearing took on a role of necessity in my parenting.  Declan lived on my left hip in his sling.  When my third child, Henry, arrived in 2007 it was again only natural that I wore him. He expressed a need to be carried longer than my other two children.  At the time I found a carrier that was made for bigger children which offered toddler and preschool sizes.

My youngest will be five in two short weeks.  Babywearing’s role in my family life is slowly coming to a close; however there are still times when it meets my children’s needs.  I still keep a few carriers in the back of my car to lend out or to use in emergencies. I am thankful for this when my youngest is asleep when we get to the store.  I can toss him on my back until he wakes up enough to get down and walk or ride in the cart.  Recently we arrived at the store to find he did not have any shoes on:  babywearing to the rescue.  Another time a friend gave my son a cute pair of shoes that did not fit him, but he wanted to wear them on a day I needed to get all three children new clothes.  After an hour he finally asked if he could be worn because his feet hurt. I was able to finish shopping because he was comfortable.

This summer we went blueberry picking with friends.  Declan, who recently turned seven, became too hot and tired and wanted to leave.  Our friends and his siblings were not ready to go. He asked me if he could get Henry’s carrier out of the car so I could wear him. I agreed and he snuggled on my back and we all finished picking blueberries and enjoying the day.   

 

While I no longer have a baby to wear every day I can still occasionally use babywearing to meet my children’s needs.    Even though it is not the same as wearing a small baby, there are still carriers and techniques one can use for older children.  In those circumstances, babywearing, even with older children, is a powerful parenting tool.   
 

Costumes, Carriers, and Cons, oh my!

Three years ago my brother and his girlfriend went to a sci-fi/fantasy/gaming/anime/all things nerd convention called Dragon*Con and came home with all sorts of stories about the fun that they had meeting authors and tv stars and artists and musicians and hanging out with thousand s of people who like the same things that they like.  My husband and I thought this sounded like a great idea and decided that we HAD to go next year.  Of course, we found out we were pregnant just a few weeks later but after a lot of waffling we decided that, seeing that he’d be 3 months old, he’d never be more portable.  It turned out to be a good choice.  We had a blast even if we did take it a bit easier than we would have if we weren’t parents.

At only a few months old, 1 Up baby enjoys his first Dragon*Con

Dragon*Con is a huge event with some 50,000+ geeks and nerds in attendance with events taking place in 5 different hotels in a 2 block radius in downtown Atlanta.  With that many people in so few hotels it is very crowded and pushing a stroller in those crowds would have been challenging and I guarantee I would have hit people and people would have tripped over the stroller.  The crowds could also have been frightening for a little baby in a low stroller where he can’t see anything but strangers.  But with baby F snuggled up on mom or dad’s chest he was in his happy place and nothing bothered him.  

Supernan needed a little nap

Dr. Who in the Tardis

F leans to see the Rainbow Brite gang

A stroller would also have made things hard because of the way all of the hotels are set up, with escalators to take you to the various ballroom levels where the events are held.  There ARE elevators but since those same elevators are the ones struggling to take so many people up to their rooms and the lines to get on an elevator are sometimes 40 or 50 minutes long.  We avoided the elevators entirely by asking for a room on a low floor so when we needed to go back to our room it was a simple matter of climbing a few flights of stairs.

It’s a 4 day event and baby F barely cried.  He nursed, napped, and snuggled through panels, lectures, book readings, shows, and concerts.  Because he was being worn it was easy to read his cues and meet his needs while participating in Con events.  I think it actually helped us hit a groove with baby F.

We have now been to Dragon*Con 3 times with F, who is now 2.  Wearing has made it, if not possible, then certainly more practical.  The second time, when he was 15 months he needed his happy place on Mommy or Daddy’s back even more than the first year to cope with the crowds and new situations because since he was older he noticed the different situations a lot more than he did at 3 months.  He’s pretty outgoing but anyone can get overwhelmed.  This year we were sadly unable to get a room in one of the main hotels (they sold out in the first 10 minutes) and had to stay in one that was several blocks away which would have made going back to the room for nap time hard and meant we had to miss things.  We would have done it if F had needed us to but since we had a carrier he just snuggled, sometimes nursed, to sleep in the carrier each day at about lunch time.  It was really cool to have him up on my back this year as we walked around and he could see all of the people in costumes.  It

Our mei tai saved the day at a mall with no highchairs

was really cool to be able to hear him pointing out pirates and girls dressed as My Little Pony characters and turtles (ninja turtles, but he just saw turtles) and the guy dressed as a lego minifigure, etc.  I wouldn’t have been able to hear him over the crowd if he had been in a stroller and he wouldn’t have been able to see anything of the people around him but knees, thighs, and behinds.  We don’t wear nearly as much as we used to but with the crowding at Dragon*Con we simply couldn’t let him walk by himself but with the right carrier we were able to wear him comfortably even though he is a seriously huge 40+ pound 2 year old.  We are planning to go again next year and while I’m sure we’ll let him walk occasionally, when we are in places with less crowding, we’ll still wear him in the really jammed crowds because I don’t think it’s very safe.  It’s much safer for him to be securely on my back where he can’t be trampled or wander off.

Babywearing at Home

While babywearing when traveling can yield spectacular photos -- "Baby's first trip to the Grand Canyon" -- and fervent devotion to carriers -- "I never would have gone there if I used a stroller" -- I find that the best place to wear my baby is at home.

Yes, at home.
Consider an average weekday in my family, with two kids to get out the door to school and one crawling, would-be-cruiser. If I carry the littlest one, she will not get stepped on by everyone hurriedly dashing about. I do not have to worry about her getting into the dishwasher. We avoid the choking hazards as the big sisters decide to dump the Legos or play a board game on the floor in the few minutes I take to scramble them up some eggs. Also, because the baby is attached to me, and at this stage she is on my back, she has a great view of all the action, freeing up my hands for buttons, zippers, shoelaces, and hairbrushing. Wearing-carrying her also allows me to grab all sorts of things as we head out the door -- "Oh wait, my phone/grocery list/library books/bills to mail/etc."

When it comes to chores, I find it much easier to sweep without a crawling baby chasing the broom and sitting in the pile of dirt and crumbs. The noise of vacuuming is somewhat tolerable when she is wrapped up snugly, cheek on my shoulder. I can carry laundry baskets around -- who wants to? but it is apparently a major part of my job description -- while wearing the baby. I also think more about what cleaning products I use, and would potentially be inhaling, when she is attached to me in a carrier, and that is better for everyone in the family!

Then, if she refuses to nap in the crib, no need to worry. Carried, rocked by my motion, she sleeps just as well. This option for napping was very important recently when nearby residential construction was constantly startling her awake. In the crib she would just cry, heavy head knocking her little fists, as she wanted sleep but could find no peace. Wrapped or Mei Tai'd to me, her little body would jump at the sawing or nail gunning, but snugged up in the carry, she had nowhere to flail off to, and so she quickly sagged back into slumber.

On any sunny day I can look out the window and see another mommy walking her dog and struggling to steer a stroller. Now jogging strollers definitely have their place for serious exercise, but for simply walking the dog, I would wear the baby, freeing up hands for the leash(es) and bagging of leavings.

One of the best parts of carrying my baby much of the day is that I know when she is hungry, and so I tend to take a break, sit down, and nurse her right away. There is no ignoring a holler in the ear, no "just a minute... after I finish this..." As inconvenient as this might seem, I know that forcing mom to sit down and take a nursing break is good for both of us -- keeping my nursing supply strong and making me rest. And play with her! Once she is full of milk and out of the wrap, she wants to explore and test her mobility, and when she is done, she starts pulling a carrier off the sofa, eager to be in it again. Many times she giggles when I swing her up on my back, a really wonderful sound.

Then when it comes to meal prep, babywearing really works for me. She is not climbing up my leg trying to see what I am doing. I am not trying to one-handedly balance her in my hip as I mix, chop, or open the oven. Carried on my back, she can watch, snooze, or play hair dresser. (This is the only drawback of carrying her; she gets her little fingers in my hair, yanks, creatively twists up tangles, and adds baby spit to my, ah, unwashed mommy tresses.) At the fussy end of a day as I oversee dinner and homework, carried she will often catch a catnap or just calm down. It makes the end of a day just a little bit saner.

And at the end of the day, as I fold up or pile up my carriers for tomorrow, I am thankful for the people who have lent me carriers and taught me how to wrap my baby. Wearing my baby lets me keep my household running, and carrying her reminds me why I do it. I'm not a maid, I'm a mom. There's love in that baby carrier.


Posted by Maria

Babywearing on the National Mall

Festival crowds on the National Mall -- a perfect day for babywearing! My three children are 7 1/2 and 5 1/2 years old, and 6 months (referred to as Monkey1, 2, and 3), so keeping mobile and having a nursing cover handy are key to family outings. The National Book Festival was a perfect example of a day of wearing and wrapping my baby.

We arrived on the grassy Mall around noon, found shade, and unpacked our lunches. I folded and spread out my wrap as a blanket for the baby, but since she's mobile, this merely marked her starting point as she investigated first the grass and then turned her attention to capturing the various sandwich containers.  Once everyone had lunched, I wrapped her up in a front carry, 

to try to keep an eye on her sunhat and accommodate my water pack on my back.  We spread out to enjoy the activities and authors under the tents.  Monkey2 wanted to meet her favorite PBS characters, so we stood in line for pictures. Front-wrapped, Monkey3 has perfected a rotate-and-grab action, so she was flailing for the camera in my hand.  When we rejoined Dad and Monkey1, who had been listening to singer-songwriter and now children's author Jewel, we all tried to move into the tent and find seats to listen to Mary Pope Osborne, author of the Magic Tree House series.  There were no seats! We edged back out, ending up next to the outer perimeter tent poles, and while we could hear, we could not see well. Not that it was really important, except to children it is important to see their favorite author! So my husband hoisted the 7 1/2 year-old on his shoulders, after putting the 5 1/2 year-old on my shoulders.  And yes, I still had little Monkey3 in a front carry.  I really wish we had a picture of this carrying, one kid on my shoulders and one wrapped to my front!  After awhile Monkey3 decided she was hungry, so I dodged out, found a bit of tree shade, unwrapped Monkey3, and draped in my 6 yards of wrap material, calmly nursed her amid the throngs of the National Book Festival.  

Next we headed to the book signing line for Jewel with a copy of her book, and while waiting, a camera crew came along looking for comments on the Festival.  "I'll talk about it!" I said. Well, how could any producer resist the cute baby attached to me?  Monkey3 could not resist reaching for the microphone either.  Nor could she keep her hands off the book's shiny dust jacket.

We met Jewel! Where was Monkey3 looking?! 

Then we joined the lines for Mary Pope Osborne to sign a book, and hot little Monkey3 wanted some variety. I tried, unsuccessfully, to front wrap her facing outwards (I had seen a YouTube video where the baby's feet are sticking out in front of her bundled body), and then resorted to a back carry. Except then she decided she'd rather eat. So again, nursing on the Mall, with her hidden under the wrap, waiting in line #10 of many more lines waiting to meet the Magic Tree House author.  My husband was amazed that I just stood there and fed her, not deserting the line.  Then I wrapped her in a back carry again.  Waiting in line is dull, but the people around us certainly had some entertainment watching me wrap up a wiggly six-month-old. Unfortunately the book signing did not go as well, as we heard from festival volunteers that the author was rubber stamping books, not actually pen signing them, and then, that the line was so long, more festival volunteers were dispatched with copies of her signature stamp. We abandoned the line.

Walking back to one of the children's activity tents, Monkey3 fell asleep on my back, and I pulled the wrap over the side of her head, supporting her limp sleepiness in a cozy pocket.  Family outing, several meals, and her afternoon nap -- now that's a good day of babywearing!  

Posted by Maria

Reflections of a Babywearing Dad

As we’re getting closer to the end of IBW 2012, I felt like I wanted to post something about Babywearing

in general. For those of you who don’t know me, I was a reluctant babywearer. Our first child had survived three years without needing more than a stroller that my wife for some reason hated. When Ann Marie decided to try babywearing, I was expecting it to last for about two weeks. Long enough for her to forget about it one day, and then have the carrier lay forgotten in a corner like so many baby bottle cleaning apparatuses.

The difference was that she didn’t just find a carrier. She didn’t just find something that helped our needy middle child feel safe and comfortable snuggling with mommy. She didn’t just figure out how to hold a fussy baby and do other productive things. She found a group of supportive, helpful, sympathetic people.

They were the first real “Mommy-Friends” my wife had. They were a group that took her in, unconditionally, and helped my wife down a path that has reaped innumerable rewards. She was able to do things; from playdates, to meetings, to group lunches where they descended upon whatever poor soul was working the counter and forced to clean up after 8 toddlers.

She started talking to me when I came home from work about things she was learning. I heard about things that happened between her and her friends. A steady stream of carriers came and went as she borrowed and tried them. She was only given constructive criticism like: “Try this adjustment,” “Maybe you want something slightly different like this carrier,” “Your child may be more comfortable if you do this”. What I saw was my wife learning the entire time. She wasn’t force fed anything; she was able to find her own way. As a result of this wonderful group of people, my wife is able to do things I don’t even comprehend. Because the group had the smarts to let her work through her problems, my wife will grab a wrap and be able to tie a  Half-Tibetan-full-ruck-Nyarlathotep-ian high-back-carry with a twist of lime.

Our nightly ritual with our second daughter

The BWI group had made my wife enthusiastic. She in turn made me, not exactly enthusiastic, but receptive to the idea of babywearing. I wore our second daughter occasionally when I was forced. I even watched as a carrier came to the house “for me”. Was I a babywearing dad? No. But I was a dad who wore my child occasionally with only a little bit of embarrassment. The fact that our second daughter would only decide to sleep after a brisk winter walk at night meant that I’d take the strange looks if it let me sleep. The embarrassment was worth the ability to rest.

The real turning point for me came when my wife told me we were going downtown to the National Mall for babywearing photos. My eldest daughter decided that while we were waiting for everyone to show, she’d run laps in new sandals. Funny enough, after a few minutes she had a blister that oozed whining. I broke out the Kozy “I” had purchased, and popped her on my back. Four hours of fifty small child pounds later, we had finished. Reflecting on the process I realize I was able to fix my daughter’s problem without any damage to the outing we had planned. I also didn’t have to lug a stroller all over God’s green creation just in case. That’s when babywearing went from something fluffy and ambiguous to something concrete with real value.

In the hospital with a 1 day old

The other big event that turned me into a Babywearing Dad was in the hospital with the birth of our third daughter. My wife was recovering from her third C-section and all she wanted in the world was a shower. The nurse had come into the room just as we were getting ready for the shower. I was in the middle of putting on the wrap so I could hold our day old daughter and help my wife to the shower. I’m halfway through tying the wrap on me and the nurse is staring at me like I’m about to jump out the window. Once I finish tying the stretchy wrap the only way I know, I plop our little daughter into it and watch the nurse as she’s taken aback. “Wow, you really do know what you’re doing” she said.

At that point I realized that I had a couple of things working both for and against me. I was a dad, and if TV commercials are to be believed, I have as much chance of taking care of a baby as I do de-arming a bomb. I also was doing something completely foreign to this nurse’s experiences. However, I had a great teacher and wasn’t worried about screwing up. I’d like to think that once the nurse saw what I was doing, and how much it helped me and my wife be independent in taking care of our child, she had a better understanding of how babywearing is beneficial.

My family has become very vocal advocates. We see how wonderful and useful babywearing is, no matter the form it takes. We spend a good amount of our free time trying to positively help and encourage families to babywear. And frankly, I’ve seen it do a world of good. If I can be convinced, I’m sure anyone can.

So, to the babywearing community at large: Let’s keep it up. Let’s keep improving people’s lives. Let’s keep solving problems. Let’s keep being kind, inclusive, caring, helpful, fun, positive people.

Posted by Corey

IBW Day 5: Tackling Two Under 2

  It's the last day to enter our ErgoBaby blog giveaway!  Enter now!  We also hope to see you at our Fashion Show at Abby's Lane tomorrow (Saturday 10/13/12) at Noon!

When my third baby was born, I already had a 3.5-year-old and a nineteen-month-old. I was already an avid babywearer, which made our transition to three children a lot easier. In order to be able to take care of my two toddlers and my newborn, I had to be able to care for my newborns needs while on the move. My new baby is one of those who never wants to be put down and has to stay in motion so he has lived the first month of his life in some sort of sling or wrap.

I also have to make sure that my middle child still has time to be a baby so I make sure that I wear her some, too, especially while the baby is still asleep in the morning. We often have to wear a baby while changing diapers.

My 3.5 year old’s favorite thing about this time of year is all the pumpkin patches that pop up in the community. I didn’t want him to have to miss out on the pumpkin patch just because we had a new baby.

One of our first outings was going to a birthday party. Unfortunately, my middle baby was not in the mood to play so I had to wear two babies.

Babywearing has helped my whole family transition to being a family of five. We look forward to all of the adventures that the next couple of years bring us.

Posted by Raagen

IBW Day 3: Cruising Stroller Free

International Babywearing Week Day 3:  Don't forget to enter our drawing for an Ergo carrier.  Also, if you want to purchase raffle tickets, they will be available at the Tysons meeting today, at the Abby's Lane Fashion Show on Saturday or you can email dcmdva@babywearinginternational.org.

Before our son was even born, my father-in-law started planning a family cruise, which sounded like a blast. We boldly committed not even knowing what life as first-time parents would be like, let alone anything about cruising with a baby. As the cruise got nearer and nearer we started to wonder if we should bring a stroller or commit to only babywearing during our week-long adventure. We decided to go stroller free and loved it! Here are some of our favorite things about our stroller-free adventure with ten-month old baby boy, V.

1. Nursing on-the-go in public is a breeze. We discreetly nursed at dinner, during craft time, on excursions, and more. On hot blazing-hot port days, easy access to hydration helped keep him healthy and happy. Here, V unlatches to check out an ice sculpture. In the background is my hubby with V’s 7-month old cousin whose parents also elected to go stroller-free for the trip.

2. Baby can nap wherever. V had pretty much given up napping in a carrier, but he picked it right back up on
the cruise which was great because it meant that we could be as active as we wanted, stay out of that tiny
stateroom, and spend plenty of time with the extended family while still meeting his needs. He loved going to
the shows with us at night and bouncing to the music before drifting off. During long dinners in the dining room, which our family adores, V drifted off we used a wrap as an impromptu floor cover and blanket.

1. Protection from curious hands. Lots of people love babies, and we are so glad that V can bring others joy, but multiple people took it further than we were comfortable with and tried to kiss or caress him when he was in- arms or in a highchair. We wondered why people were so baby-touchy on the cruise and came up with a couple of theories: crew members see relatively few babies and may be dearly missing their own children, elderly people do not always see many babies, people from different cultures have different boundaries when it comes to touch. Cruises bring people from all three of those categories together. Because people in each of those categories still tend to respect adult space boundaries, having him in the carrier kept him shielded.

2. Guard from overstimulation. Cruises are busy with lots of noises, sights, people, and stimulation in a relatively small space. Wearing V kept him physically connected to the comfort and safety of a parent. When he’d had enough, he could nuzzle his head into my chest or neck (depending if he was on my front or back). Strollers and front-facing carriers don’t allow this.

3. Enjoy more versatile excursions In San Juan alone, we encountered outrageously bumpy cobblestone streets with no sidewalks, other streets had sidewalks but didn’t have curb cuts, we visited tiny shops that a stroller couldn’t fit into, we encountered several sidewalks that ended in of stairs, etc. In other ports, we encountered wobbly tender boats, sand, lack of security (meaning no safe place to stash a stroller to go into a small space), rough trails, open air busses, etc. With V strapped on, each one of these things was a breeze.

4. Share experiences fully with baby. In a carrier, baby sees things at adult-height which means we are seeing the same things. Also, because he is on me, it is intuitive for both hubby and I to include him in as we talk about all we are seeing. He got to be brushed by the same low tree branches that brushed my face; I knew that he could see the ocean and other sights over protective barriers, etc.

5. Avoiding Cruise Elevators - Cruise elevators make me crazy. They take forever and they are crammed with people. Embarkation and disembarkation days are the worst because everyone is in the common areas at the same time and many people have luggage with them. With a baby in a stroller, it is elevate or seriously struggle with stairs. With a baby in a carrier, it is very easy to traverse the stairs without delay. Plus, it is good exercise which means I feel all the better about enjoying the delicious, abundant food.


6. Maintain balance Ships can be rocky. With a baby in-arms, you cannot use your arms for balance or to hold on to railing. With a baby in a carrier, baby’s weight is centered on your body (unless you are doing a hip carry) and your arms are free. In addition to greater stability on the ship, the benefit of balance also came up on an excursion. In the Dominican Republic, we did a light hike to a waterfall. The final part of the walk involved traversing a small river via large rocks and bags of sand. Hubby is very sure-footed so he wore V on this one; he and V crossed the river easily with no assistance. I crossed only with the assistance of a trail helper. The woman behind us, however, had her toddler in-arms. Even with a trail helper at her side, she was not able to maintain balance with baby in her arms nor was she able to use her arms to protect herself as she fell. The pair fell into the water. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but mom and baby were both shaken up. People skeptical of babywearing sometimes ask if falls are more likely or more dangerous. The benefit of balance and free arms to brace a fall is the reason that I can always give a full-hearted, “no” to this question.

7. Conscious packing It is no secret that staterooms are small. A wrap (or three) takes up very little space, even less than the most compact umbrella stroller. Babywearing leads to lighter packing both for the whole trip as well as for day packs. When you commit to wearing baby for the whole day of excursions, you think about the gear you are loading into a day pack very carefully. When you commit to no stroller for a week or more, you do the samething. I find that when a stroller is an option, I think of every last thing that I might need and load myself down with it. Suddenly I go from baby gear minimalist to hoarder. I like that babywearing helps me keep things simple. It boosts my confidence in terms of resourcefulness, fits in with our general values of simple living, and helps our kiddo remain flexible. After all, if I’d loaded three of his favorite toys and a bag full of snacks into our day pack, would V have liked touching an iguana as much? Sure, another handful of O-cereal is fine. But, isn’t the experience eating a freshly-picked orange so much more what travel and adventure is all about?

8. Formal Babywearing - How cute is a baby in a tuxedo on the back of his mommy or daddy who are also dressed to the nines? Ok, so maybe it isn’t a REAL benefit, but it is cute!



Posted by Pamm