1. Patience
Unfortunately, if you weren’t patient before you had kids, learning to affix a child to your body is not going to magically make you a more patient person. Having a child will, however, definitely make you wish you were a more patient person, regardless of your starting point. The nice thing about babywearing is, while you may not become more patient during the excruciating and ever-variable length of time it takes to get a 3 year old moving in the direction of your desire, you will at least not have to worry about where the baby has gone off to.
2. Stain Avoidance
If you have ever been near children in a public setting, you may have noticed that children are, well, sort of disgusting. And sticky. And slimy. Especially in the spring and fall, what with allergies and colds and stuff. And winter, because, you know it’s flu season. And summer (because of the popsicles). Once you actually have one or more of your own, the ick-factor is undeniable. Unfortunately, with babywearing, the regular proximity of noses, mouths, eyes, hands, torsos and diapers to you pretty much guarantees that you will end each outing with some sort of something smeared on your clothes. However, you will have ample opportunity to discuss stain removal, and perform a number of at-home comparison tests. Take good notes- this will hold you in good stead when you must face the dreaded Science Fair projects that loom in your future.
3. Color Coordination
Unless your budget is unlimited, or you have a monochromatic wardrobe, you are unlikely to have “the” perfect carrier for each and every fabulous, stain-free, slimming, sleek and chic ensemble you have in your wardrobe as you go about your daily affairs. However, you will learn how to select the perfect carrier for its ability to support the child in question during the activities you have planned for the day, and if you choose wisely, said carrier might also hide the muffin top or the muffin stain someone so considerately place on your shirt.
4. Karmic Balance
Try as you might to remain on an even keel, children have the most maddening way of putting your ability to remain calm, to find your inner eye, feel your zen, escape to your happy place, to the test on a regular basis. And babywearing is not going to make those moments any less frustrating. But babywearing can improve your actual balance. I’m no Sarah Jessica Parker, but I have been spotted on occasion high-tailing after some wayward child, wearing heels with a baby strapped to my back during a pickup gone awry after a long day of work.
5. The Right Way to Parent
Despite what the book you’re reading promises, and despite what your mother keeps telling you, there isn’t 
really a “right” way to parent. And some times, groups of parents can make you feel defensive about the choices you’ve made, and you gravitate towards those who share your parenting approach. In my decade of motherhood (okay, typing that made me feel a little queasy- four kids in, how do I still know nothing?), I have never felt more different, yet more welcome, more supported, and more included than at a babywearing meeting. I believe that our local group has always had a special ability to create community, and the friendships I have made have lasted through all kinds of transitions. And it is impossible to overstate the importance of being among those who can give you a different perspective. You may not always agree, but you might broaden your appreciation for the incredible variety of ways there are to be a good parent.
It takes all kinds of mothers to mother all kinds of children … the only “right” way is to be the kind of mother you are. (I mean, unless you’re a dad. Then you probably want to go another route). But mom or dad, it doesn’t help anyone in your house to try to parent like someone else. So much of parenting is about acceptance – accepting your limitations, accepting your childrens’ challenges, and accepting that “because I said so” doesn’t necessarily mean everyone else will agree. But it can still be the right thing for you to do.
So throw on some clothes. We won’t mind if they’re not completely clean. Slap on a smile. Strap on your kid. And we’ll see you at our next meeting. Wonder what you won’t learn…
Posted by Nancy
Pssst. Hey … you with the baby … over here. Yeah, you with the toddler, come on over too. Pay no attention to the gray hair or the Cheerios stuck to my rear-end. Don’t worry. I’m not going to tell you how to be a better parent through babywearing, or through anything else. As if you’d believe me. We just met. You have no idea how competent I can make you feel in comparison. Today, though, I thought I’d share a few Dirty Little Babywearing Secrets. Why? Well, I’ve now been snowed in with my posse for over a week, so it’s distinctly possible that I’m just looking for an excuse to hide from them. But it might also have to do with the fact there are some, well, less-publicized benefits of babywearing that I just think more of us should be aware of. Because not all of us got started down this road for philosophical reasons, and most of us have discovered so much more.
Dirty Little Secret # 1: Babywearing eliminates the need for Spanx.
Okay, not really. But you can cover a multitude of sins with a big ol’ piece of fabric and a baby attached to your body. Muffin top? What muffin top? Droopy boobs? Where? All I see here is a baby in a ring sling. And did I mention how cute that baby is?
Dirty Little Secret #2: Babywearing allows you to fake it ‘til you can make it.
You know how learning to do something, even, frankly, something as umm … obscure … as a back carry in a ring sling, makes you feel more confident? I found that being in public and wearing a baby made me feel like, at the very least, I could “play the part” of a mom who had it all together, until I did get it all together. Sometimes the pretense fuels the reality. And when I couldn’t get it all together, at least I didn’t lose anyone while I was out in public.
Dirty Little Secret #3: Babywearing is like a Homemade Tracking System
I am, unfortunately, someone who has had a child jump out of a stroller while crossing the street (seriously, you cannot make this stuff up-- from a fully secured five-point harness, no less. Dude’s got some serious talent). Let me just point out the obvious: A worn child is a locatable child. Some might even say an un-lose-able child. Now, my jumper was not a good candidate for being worn (at the time of his escape or really at most times in his life), but while you’re racing around looking for the bolter, at least you know exactly where one or two of the Other Ones are.
Dirty Little Secret #4: Babywearing allows for creative storage
Did you know you can tuck a diaper, a onesie, and a small water to one side of a 4-month old in a tummy-to-tummy carry in a in a stretchy pouch? And even better, that you can fit your large wallet, keys, a binky, 2 size 3 diapers, a wipes case, your camera, a lipgloss, AND a pound of Whole-Bean Starbucks in the handy dandy pocket of a Kozy MT? These are not widely-publicized pluses. Heck, with careful planning you could probably pack for the weekend in the tie-end of a wrap.
Dirty Little Secret #5: Babywearing allows you to embrace your inner evangelist and your inner Macgyver.
Everyone likes to be the expert every once in a while. And babywearing is not exactly a widespread skill. You will be amazed at how often people will come up to you and ask you questions, and if you are open to responding, you get to spread the excitement. Sometimes, you also get to be creative. I had a great time showing a guy at work how to use a pouch using some adding-machine tape and a stuffed mascot. We must, of course, ignore the fact that the CEO’s executive assistant walked by at the time.
Dirty Little Secret #6: Babywearing reduces your need for Kleenex
Isn’t that green of you? Whether you’ve been a parent for 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years, you’ve probably noticed that babies produce a lot of snot and a lot of spit-up. Sorry. I know, but I’ve been covered in one thing or another for almost a decade and have reached grudging acceptance of my reality. Whether you’re carrying you child on your front or your back, she can take care of that snotty nose or pitter-dribble by herself, conveniently positioned to wipe her face right on your shirt. Isn’t that great? So self-sufficient and resourceful. Unfortunately, Dirty Big Secret #1 is that babywearing can, at times, increase your laundry load. But heck, isn’t your entire life really all about laundry at this point? What’s one more shirt? And when they miss your shirt and get you, well, you’ll need to shower. But every once in while, don’t you really need a concrete reason to stop what you’re doing and hop into a nice hot shower? Alone. Where the sound of the water and the exhaust fan drowns out the sounds of all the people who need things from you … Oh. Sorry. Where was I?
Dirty Little Secret #7: Babywearing presents endless opportunites to freak out your Mother-in-Law and other relatives.
Don’t lie. Some little part of you enjoys freaking out your mother-in-law. I love my MIL. I am one lucky woman. But … I am not going to deny that one of the reasons I embraced the “Santa Toss” method of back-carry-positioning is because I knew it would completely freak her out. And my mom, who was a die-hard Snugli wearer, still waffles between being impressed and confused by my dazzling skills.
Dirty Little Secret #8: Babywearing allows you to believe, at least until someone throws up on you, that you can be La Mom Nikita.
I still remember my very first La Mom Nikita babywearing moment … I was getting dinner ready for my older two (2 & 4 at the time), and my 3rd was maybe 4 or 5 months old. She was freaking out, I was freaking out, everyone was freaking out, because what fun is a good freakout if it’s not widespread? I plopped her in a Mei Tai, managed to get her to latch on, and got dinner on the table and dinner into her simultaneously. I threw in a load of laundry, loaded the dishwasher, and seriously felt like I could kick some bad-guy booty, if anyone was stupid enough to get near me and my bad self.
Dirty Little Secret # 9: Babywearing allows you to totally ignore your children.
Some might not consider this a plus, but let me tell you, in my world, this has been one of the biggest reasons I have been so avid for so long. Got a to-do list a mile long and a newly mobile child? Throw him on your back and you are good to go. Laundry, groceries, bathing other children (watch your balance, now)? Piece of cake. All the daily mundane tasks that are impossible to do with someone clinging to your ankles or sticking his fingers in an electrical socket are magically possible when you’re wearing a baby-backpack, and you appear to the outside world like someone completely concerned about their welfare.
Dirty Little Secret #10: Babywearing is Dead Sexy
That is a total lie. I just wanted to make sure you were still reading. One would be hard-pressed to say that really anything about baby-care is sexy in any way. But … confidence is sexy. And I can’t think of anything I’ve done as a mother that has given me so many minor and major boosts of confidence as babywearing has.
Surviving parenthood has so much to do with confidence, learning to accept your personal limitations, and find ways to maximize your opportunities to be successful. With four children, ranging in age from 9 to 2, I have had a lot of opportunities to come face-to-face with my limitations. Most would agree I have more gray hairs than functioning brain cells at this point. Through Beltway Babywearers, both online and “in real life,” I have had the chance to meet a wonderful group of parents, some of whom I have very little in common with, many of whom have significantly different approaches to parenting than I do. I have learned to appreciate that there really is no one “right” way. It takes all kinds of mothers to mother all kinds of children, and all kinds of fathers too. The trick is figuring out what kind of parent you are, and what kind of parent your kids need you to be at that moment.
And, of course, not getting too cocky with your competent self, because what worked yesterday is unlikely to work on Day 7 of, say, a blizzard.
Posted by Nancy
really a “right” way to parent. And some times, groups of parents can make you feel defensive about the choices you’ve made, and you gravitate towards those who share your parenting approach. In my decade of motherhood (okay, typing that made me feel a little queasy- four kids in, how do I still know nothing?), I have never felt more different, yet more welcome, more supported, and more included than at a babywearing meeting. I believe that our local group has always had a special ability to create community, and the friendships I have made have lasted through all kinds of transitions. And it is impossible to overstate the importance of being among those who can give you a different perspective. You may not always agree, but you might broaden your appreciation for the incredible variety of ways there are to be a good parent.
