To size up, or not to size up... THAT is the question

A common refrain in online babywearing groups lately is, "get a toddler carrier, it'll last longer."  Now, if someone has a 2yr old and is considering purchasing their first carrier to only use with the 2+yr old child, that is pretty good advice.  However, I regularly hear it referencing children under a year.  Many have tried to explain why a too big carrier is a bad idea including questions of comfort for the parent and child.  But I wanted a quick reference for what happens when baby has to overextend.  I borrowed my almost 5yr old (because she's compliant and follows directions), and took a couple pictures. 

When her legs are bent, she can open them about 12inches from the inside of one knee to the other. (I used the seam on the jeans as my consistent measure point).

This is open "as wide as you can, and with legs hanging off the edge of support... similar to a carrier that isn't quite knee to knee.

Now, I then had her sit on the floor, straight legs, and do the same thing.  She makes about 11inches.  She loses a full inch of flexibility by not being able to bend her legs.

Now in this position, she wasn't forced to fit into a carrier, or made to stay in that position for hours.  Imagine the child in a too big carrier. 

If she can't bend her knees, she is stressing her ligaments in the same way that my child did when straight legged which caused her to be unable to open them as wide.  But she would have no choice in a carrier. It is inherently less comfortable and less optimal.

Meanwhile, we can look at the child in a carrier that is "too small."

She can bend her legs as much or little as she wants.  She is old enough to likely want down within a fairly short time frame, or do long stretches maybe once a month?  She doesn't need the most supportive carrier ever made for a child her size.  But this carrier will serve her far better now on the short jaunts than the toddler size one that "fits" would have served for the first 2yrs of her life. 

So, the answer to the question, "to size up" has more to do with what your child needs.  Is an infant/standard size carrier no longer working for your child?  Why?  Is it just because she isn't perfectly knee to knee?  That is not a reason to size up.  There is a full 2in or more gap between fitting a standard carrier "perfectly knee to knee" and fitting the next size up carrier at all.  Most families will never NEED a toddler carrier.  They may WANT one.  There is nothing wrong with that.  But sizing up too early doesn't help you or your baby to have a comfortable babywearing experience.

Posted by Ann Marie

Carry of the Week: Front Cross Carry (FCC)

We've recently started some virtual meetings in our Facebook chatter group.  We invite you to join us for our weekly series on wrap carries, as well as our conversations on day to day wearing.  You can learn more about our regular meetings and join the meeting events on our Facebook page.  Our two Facebook homes give us the opportunity to connect with you between meetings.  You can also use the chatter page to plan informal playdates to meet other families.

 

This week our Carry of the Week (COTW) continues on from last week's emphasis on FWCC. Once parents move from a stretchy wrap to a woven wrap, one of the things they often lament is the inability to pre-tie their FWCC as they could with the stretchy wrap.  A great pre-tied option in a woven is the Front Cross Carry (FCC).  This can be done with your base size or sometimes base -1.  This is also a great carry for wearing under a coat while winter babywearing.  Follow along with this photo tutorial.

Find the middle marker

Middle marker starts in the middle of your back

Bring one side around and cross up to opposite shoulder, be careful not to twist

Bring other side across body to opposite shoulder, be careful not to twist

You should have an X in front of you at this point

In the back, you should have a straight piece across, with the 2 tails hanging over your shoulders

Reach behind you for the opposite tail

Cross these tails

Bring back around front

Tie in a square knot

Find the pass of the X closest to your body.  This should be the first piece you crossed in front of you.

Hold baby on shoulder like you are going to burp her.  Guide the foot closest to the working side through the pass

Help her to sit on this pass

Then spread this pass from one crook of the knee to the other and across baby's back

Now find the outside pass of the X, guide baby's foot through here

Spread this pass from one knee to the other and across baby's back

Adjust your shoulders and the passes around baby's head for comfort and clear airway

And you're ready to hit the store!

And although it isn't my favorite, this can even work for a big kid who needs some front snuggles.

 Hopefully this was clear.  For those who prefer video tutorials, try this one.  A variation on this carry can also be helpful for parents who have children who always want to be held in burp hold.  These instructions are in Greek, but the photos are self explanatory.

When you try this out, share your photos in our Facebook group to show us your successes!  Happy wrapping!

 

Falling In Love: An Adoption Story

Tomorrow is National Adoption Day!  Today we have a guest blogger to share with us some of the benefits of babywearing with an adopted child.

I use to be that mom.  The mom that would carry her infant around in a ridiculously heavy car seat, because for some reason in my mind it seemed easier than holding a tiny baby.  Looking back now, I realize the logic in that was missing.  But considering it was my first child I guess I still had a lot to learn.

With my oldest son after discovering the practical side of babywearing

When my next baby came along, it seemed I didn’t have enough hands anymore.  This led to my discovery of babywearing.  At this point I didn’t have a love for babywearing.  I had a NEED for it.  If I had one child strapped to me, that meant I had both hands free to wrangle my then 3 year old daughter.  Even better, I could strap my baby boy, Micah, to my back and even PICK UP my daughter.  It was a convenient easy option to keeping my kids safe and nearby.

Immediately after my son Micah was born, we started the process to adopt a baby boy from Korea.  We were told the adoption process would take about 2 years.  Well, God had other plans, because 10 months after our very first interview our teeny tiny 4 month old Korean baby was in our arms.  What a blessing.  But boy was my world about to be ROCKED!

Coming home with our new baby, a carrier in the background

During those 10 months of waiting, I did a LOT of reading, a lot of blog posting, and lots of question asking on adoption forums.  I learned all about bonding and attachment, and the importance of keeping your newly adopted baby as close as possible.  After all, I would be bringing home a baby who had never been near me or my family, had never seen “white” faces, and had never heard our language.  Everything around him would look, smell, sound, and taste different.  At this point, the need for babywearing changed drastically.

From the moment our new son Arie was placed in our arms, I kept him as close to me as possible.  If he wasn’t in my arms, he was strapped to my chest.  I no longer looked at babywearing as simply a way to make life easier.  Now it was a way to help me and my baby fall in love with each other.  With him on my chest, he could hear my heart beating, feel my breath, hear my voice, and smell my scent.  These were all things that my biological children were able to do while in my belly and immediately after birth.  But in Arie’s eyes, I was a stranger.  So we had a lot of bonding to catch up on.

Arie still likes to be worn as a big kid!

During the next two years, I became a pro at babywearing. Since my boys were only 12 months apart, I often had one strapped on my right hip, and the other popped up on my Left.  My boys would bicker over who would be in the carrier, and occasionally I would just tie them both to me!  Although Micah enjoyed it, Arie lived for it.  He would sleep, play, eat, and socialize with his siblings while I wore him.  Arie also has special needs, and one of his issues is sensory processing disorder.  He would get himself so worked up that he couldn’t calm down.  The only thing that would sooth him was to put him on me in a carrier.   The compression of the carrier, accompanied with the warmth and movement of being tied to my chest, would immediately relax him.  It was amazing.

Arie is a happy member of our family

Arie quickly became attached to both me and my husband.  Keeping him physically close helped our bond strengthen.  I loved having him near my heart, and he loved being there.  I have learned throughout the years that although babywearing is practical and convenient, it can also be magical.  It helped the love grow between us and our adopted son, and it brought us closer in more ways than one.  

Our first photo of our family of 6!

Arie is now a 32 pound 5 year old.  He still occasionally asks to be worn in the carrier, and I happily oblige (but only in the house!).  I have since had another baby, and this time around I was able to appreciate ALL the benefits of babywearing.  But I could still use a few more hands….

 Posted by Ryan

Babywearing at the Farm

When I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd baby, I was thrilled that my girls (then
almost 4 and just-turned 5) were old enough to understand who would soon be
joining us and to be excited about bringing baby brother along to experience all
the things we do as a family. I also wondered how our busy life with activities and
school events and family trips would change when we added a new little one. I
decided early on that babywearing would have to be an integral part of our daily
loves, and I am so thankful that I did!

Babywearing truly has opened up a world of possibilities for me and for our family.
Since my oldest, Katelin was a baby, we have been trekking out to Loudoun County
to the Great Country Farm several times a year for a day of outside, seasonal
fun. Depending on the season, we go to play, pick pumpkins, berries, peaches, or
Christmas trees, listen to music, pet some animals and have a picnic. When Austin
was a couple weeks old last fall, the girls started asking when we could go to “Our
Farm” and pick pumpkins. What’s a newly-nursing, c-section-recovering mama of
a 3 week old newborn with two active, enthusiastic big sisters begging for some
family tradition-making to do? Strap on a baby carrier and head for the mountains!
And so we did. Things were a little different this time, mama and baby stayed
behind in the car for a bit upon arrival to nurse and pump- a new experience of its
own. And then I nestled him securely in his new carrier, buckled it on, and off we
went to join the fun. He spent the day snug and warm and happy where I could
monitor him up close, and we didn’t need to worry about pushing a stroller through
muddy fields or heaving it onto a tractor and holding a wiggly newborn in my arms
on a bumpy tractor ride. I could join my girls in the crowded, vine-y pumpkin
patch- hands free to help them pick the best ones! And of course, take pictures of
memories that will last a lifetime.

And so a new tradition was started, and we have returned to “our farm” several
times during Austin’s first year. We picked strawberries on a warm, misty day in
the late spring- a day 4 year old Natalie remembers fondly as the day we ate lots
of berries and then ran for the tractor through the fields when the skies opened up
and rain poured down. Austin enjoyed all the fun in a nice, cool solarveil carrier on
my back. He was a part of the experience in a way that would have been impossible
in a stroller and I was a part of the girls’ experience in a way that would have been
impossible pushing a stroller on the outskirts of the field or trying to carry him in
my arms.

When summer rolled around, we returned to the farm to pick peaches and
blackberries. Once again, baby brother got to see and feel and taste the peaches and
berries while perched on mama’s back. His sisters kept him content with frequent
juicy samples. He had a bird’s eye view of the farm animals and he loved seeing the
cows and pigs and goats. We even watched a mama goat give birth on that visit!

And when we returned again last weekend for the annual pumpkin-picking ritual,
on a perfect chilly fall day, baby brother was again with us in his safe, warm cozy
spot on mama’s back. Able to see everything just as everyone else could, he was
content to take it all in. This time, I could hear his sweet babbling as he made animal
sounds and talked to his sisters. Babywearing made for a much more enjoyable day
at the farm on this blustery day, where babies in strollers were cold and fussing.
The girls talked to him and told him about the tractor ride and which pumpkins
we would pick, and he watched the bonfire (from a safe and secure distance) while
sisters roasted marshmallows.

Our days at the farm in the past year are just one example among so many of how
babywearing has allowed our family to grow and experience things together in the
past year that would have been so much more difficult or impossible without it. And
for that, I am thankful!

Babywearing at the Museum

The museum is one of those places babywearing is really ideal.  Most exhibits aren't designed to be seen from stroller height, and strollers tend to be difficult to maneuver in the crowds.  One thing to keep in mind, most art museums forbid back carries, this isn't an insult to babywearers, it is an insurance thing to make sure your little bundle doesn't bump or grab priceless art.  Front or hip carries are acceptable.

First of all, we have to get to the museum.  Babywearing is fantastic on public transportation.

Once you arrive at your destination, there is lots of fun to be had and things to explore:

Sometimes you even find yourself blending in with the display

And when it all gets to be too much, it's time for a nap before heading home

So get out there and enjoy the fun and experiences available to you and your kids at museums.  You won't regret leaving the stroller at home.

Museum Photos taken at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum and the Virginia Children's Museum in Portsmouth, VA.

My Nanny Wears Me Too!

Ever since I was very little, I have loved holding babies. Awake babies, sleeping babies, even crying babies. I loved to hold them all. So naturally, when time came for me to start babysitting, and mothers offered me carriers to wear their children, my reply was "Yes, yes YES!". Unfortunately, in the beginning, all of the mothers I sat for had Bjorns, and so that is what used. I found them rather uncomfortable most of the time, but I would much rather wear the baby then not, so I just dealt with it. Finally, a mother I knew had an Ergo. I had seen her wearing it a couple of times, and I was really interested in it, as I had never seen anything like it. I kept asking her questions about it, and one day while we were at an event together, she offered for me to wear her little one in it for a while. (Thank Heaven for that sweet Mama!!) Just a few minutes after putting it on, I was in love with it! It was beyond comfortable compared to the Bjorn, and the baby was snuggled right up next to me, so she fell right asleep. I wore the baby around for almost three hours that day, and was sad when I had to take it off so the mama could head home.

 After a little bit of "hinting"  (I would leave the Ergo homepage up any time I was on the computer... for an entire month!) to my parents that I wanted an Ergo, finally, I received it for my birthday. To this day, that was probably the best birthday gift I have ever received. I immediately started using it while I babysat, and a few months later I got a regular nanny job with a family.

As a nanny, I perform many of the daily tasks mothers perform (this includes, cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc.) And  of course, wearing children while doing these tasks (as most of you know) makes them so much easier. It also has created a special bond between me and many of the children I watch. Most of the children I nanny for absolutely love to be carried, and a lot of times as soon as I walk in the door they children will ask to "ride on Miss Rebekah." I also wear to comfort them, whether helping to distract them from a parent leaving, or if they are just having a bad day. Baby wearing also helps me when I take the children on outings. I know that small children will be safe when we are out, because most of the time they will be strapped to me. I also know that I will then have free hands to push strollers or hold hands with older siblings that like to walk. I remember one particular day when I took five (yes, five!) children to the zoo. I could not have made it through that day without my Ergo. The two year old, (who was the youngest) was on my back nearly the entire day, which allowed me to also push the double stroller that was carrying two other children and lots of stuff! The two year old had a bit of a cold that day, and wasn't feeling too good. Because I was wearing him, he was able to nap as much as he wanted, whether we were in a stroller friendly exhibit or not. I can give examples of countless other times when a carrier has saved the day. Whenever I forget a carrier, I always end up needing it! I have learned to keep a carrier on me at all times, even if I am not planning on nannying that day. 

 

I bring my Ergo and Maya Wrap with me every where I go. One of the mothers I worked for mentioned in her letter of reference that I had my own carriers. Now anytime I meet a new mom she will read the letter and say "oh? You do! That is soneat!" I have found the most mothers are thrilled that I will wear their children, in fact I have even helped some moms choose and buy carriers for themselves. Babywearing has become a part of who I am, as well as something that I have come to rely on anytime I nanny.

The very best part about babywearing is the fact that I can return the children to their parents at the end of the day, knowing that I have given them the absolute best care I possibly can, by keeping them safe, and providing for all of their needs. And that is worth the world to me.

Posted by Rebekah
Photos used with permission from parents

Emergency Babywearing for the Non-Emergency

A couple months ago following the tragedy of the Japanese tsunami, we discussed emergency babywearing in a true emergency situation: natural disaster, fire, injury.  In this post we follow up with emergency babywearing in a non-emergency situation.  These are those occasions where your babywearing skills come in handy even though it isn't a true emergency.  Babywearing is a skill, not a carrier.  Once you have the skill, almost anything can carry your baby. And sometimes those baby carriers can stand in for other things needed in your non-emergency.

Situation #1:
 You've gone to the library with your kids.  You thought both were ready to look at books peacefully, so you didn't bring in a carrier, but your toddler begins grabbing books from the shelves and you need to get her away from them.  Your lovely scarf can come to the rescue:

This same solution can come to the rescue at an outdoor market where you can pick up a pashmina, selendang, or sarong.  Or at Target (or other store) where you can find a scarf or table cloth from the clearance bin that will work well. I've also pressed a pashmina into service when I couldn't find a carrier to go with an outfit for a dress occasion (ignore the terrible knot positioning, this was early in my wrapping carrier).

Situation #2
Your family has headed to the beach.  You only had a short walk, a few blocks at most from the house/hotel/car, and you knew your preschooler would have no trouble with the walk.  But at the end of a long day of beach fun, your preschooler is wiped out and doesn't have enough juice to make it home.  What now?  You still have to carry the beach stuff back, so you can't carry them in arms.  Your towel to the rescue!

I actually had this that same day with my toddler.  I carried her in arms from the car (not sure why, I was excited about our day at the beach and wasn't thinking clearly), then at the end of the day, I was too tired to carry her back and get the stuff to the car...

Ariel towel to the rescue!

Situation #3
Sometimes you have an emergency of an entirely different sort.  We've all had the experience when a baby has a diaper leak, or pours out a cup of juice, but when it occurs when you are wearing them, you get wet too.  Most moms carry extra clothes for baby, but what about you?  Do you get to stay icky and wet?  Now, how to get home?  A double hammock carry with your wrap will provide the coverage of your top without having to put the dirty shirt back on.  Once you've made it home, or at least to the relative safety of the car, you can usually find a longer term solution.  Perhaps you won't be the height of fashion, but you will be dry and covered.

It seems whenever I'm around my kids, they find ways to make me a mess.  During my older daughter's swim class a few weeks ago, my toddler was determined to get in the pool.  I spent the class chasing her and trying to keep her from falling in.  I was wearing a long skirt, and squatting by the pool edge I got the skirt all wet.  I had a long drive ahead of me, and wearing a wet skirt to drive didn't sound comfortable at all.  A short wrap to the rescue.  A wrap can stand in for a skirt in many situations.

Situation #4
Finally, sometimes you brought a carrier, you remembered extra clothes (or managed to stay clean), you remembered to pack sandwiches, snacks and drinks, what you forgot was a place to PUT the lunch down.  That carrier can come in handy here as a table cloth or picnic blanket:

A tangent to this one is when you arrive where you are going to eat and discover that there are no high chairs.  Sometimes leaving baby in the carrier will work fine with a small baby, but an older baby or toddler may want to join in the meal, so once again, carriers to the rescue:

So remember that knowing how to babywear is about more than knowing how to use a carrier in its intended fashion correctly.  It's using a skill and fabric devices to make your life better.