Disclaimer: My husband when told of this post said, "you're not writing a blog post, that's a kid's book, next thing you're going to tell me is that a cat with some headgear came and made the carriers mess up the car when mom wasn't looking and then the cat took the goldfish for a walk using the mei tai." So, if this is terrible, um, sorry, maybe it will inspire those who owe me articles to turn them in.
The Secret Life of Carriers:
Mabel Mei Tai: Hey, guys, wake up! Wonder which of us will get used today?
Grumpy Gus Woven Wrap: Ugh, I hope not me, I just got dunked in that awful washing machine because I was spit up on AND had a diaper leak on me the other day, that thing makes me sea sick, I want a break... she can come back to me when the kid gets a little bigger and doesn't spit up so much!
Scarlett SSC: Oh, come on Gus, you know you love the attention!
Silky Sue Woven Wrap: I'm so jealous, they rarely pick me because I require "special care" so she's afraid of diaper leaks. I love getting to snuggle them when they are so little and squishy! Ooo, ooo, here they come! *car door opens*
Mama: Everyone in the car, busy day today!
Scarlett: YES! Busy day, that means a lot of us might get a chance!
Grumpy Gus: Mmrph, that means even if I don't get picked I'll have to listen to you lot gush about the baby.
Regina Ring Sling: Oh, come on Gus, you talk a good game, but I know you love it when those sweet little gums gnaw on your rails and baby nods off snuggled up with you, no point in denying it.
Sue: All right, preschool drop off done, now where to?
Gus: Hey, where's Vicky?
Mabel: Sold, but it's good, she never got to leave the car, her colors didn't suit mama at all; this way maybe she'll get out to see the world and snuggle another baby, I think she was getting a little sad.
Scarlett: Any idea who the new kid is going to be to take her place?
Mabel: Nope, but I did hear Mama talking about a new SSC at the last meeting...
Scarlett: I'm not worried, she loves me, and my fabric is hard to find... YES! The farmer's market! She ALWAYS picks me here!
Gus: You never know, she might pick Sue or Mabel, you shouldn't be so sure!
Scarlett: Nah, she wouldn't want to drag them in the dirt parking lot.
Sue: She's right, "special care." Humph!
Mama: Okay Kids, let me get my carrier on and the baby up and then we can go pick out some goodies!
Scarlett: Yes! See, I told you she'd pick me, I'll tell you about it when we get back!
Gus: Oh good, it's quiet, I can take a nap now!
Regina: The farmer's market always sounds like fun.
Mabel: It IS, I used to get to go when the baby was smaller, but now Scarlett always gets picked. But they have home baked things, and the baby used to snuggle in and sleep after nursing, it was so cuddly and sweet. And people were always cooing over the baby and commenting on how pretty I am... I miss that. I know it sounds vain, but I love hearing about how beautiful I am compared to "regular" carriers.
Scarlett: What did you all do while I was gone? We had fun, they had some new fresh veggies, and there were some really great looking pies. The baby is getting some teeth though, she was really digging into my straps. There were lots of people interested in carriers though, hopefully we'll see some of them at next week's meeting.
Gus: Hey! What are you doing with me? I'm NOT a blanket, lady, why are you putting me up here over this ba... oh, yuck, she's drooling all over me! Stop that kid! So humiliating.
Mabel: Enjoy it Gus, isn't she darling?
Gus: Sure. adorable.
Regina: Stand aside boys and girls, time for preschool pick-up, this is mine!
Ooo, wow. she's getting heavy isn't she? It's so nice to watch them grow.
Regina: That was fun, we demonstrated for one of the moms with a new baby and a new sling; and the big kids had done some really fun art. They even had butterflies they watched grow from caterpillars!
Sue: *pouts* Oh great, the playground, definitely not for me.
Gus: It's nap time, so I think it's going to be me. Yay, more drool, and spit up probably. (sarcastically) Yipee. Yep, here we go.
Gus: Disgusting, once again, I got leaked on, back to the wash for me. I hate that thing, it makes me so dizzy. Oh, sure, add insult to injury and use me as a changing pad, eww, gross, what are you FEEDING that kid? Blech. Really, Sue, you don't want this.
Sue: Yes I do, I want to feel useful.
Mama: Ok kids, everyone needs to rest this afternoon, we have a nice dinner tonight with your grandparents.
Little Girl: Do we get to dress fancy, like Nancy?
Sue: Did I hear fancy dinner? Oh please, please let me get to go, I'm fancy! I was MADE for this.
Mabel: I've got my straps crossed for you, kiddo.
Sue: Oh, but Mabel, if I go, you don't get to. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry.
Mabel: I get my turns, besides, daddy still likes me best, so I get a chance every weekend with him. You will enjoy the dinner, I really hope they pick you.
*A few hours later*
Sue: Oh everyone, it was fabulous. There were fancy napkins and flowers and the kids were so good, the baby slept almost the whole time, mama got to eat her dinner, and the grandparents were all so proud of her. They did complain that they didn't get to hold the baby, but why would they need to hold her when I was doing such a good job? And I really did a great job, I was perfectly spread, and I had just enough give on the shoulders... I really tried to show her why she should use me more often. And the baby! Her sweet little fingers were running along my rails, and then she fell asleep all snuggled in. So soft and precious and yummy. What a great opportunity.
Others: That's great. Good for you. I'm happy for you. Sounds fun!
Sue: Thanks for being so happy for me guys. But we should rest, I heard talk of a busy day tomorrow, shopping, a short hike, and visiting some friends. Sounds like most of you will have a chance tomorrow as well, better lay down your hoods and get to sleep.
All: Good night.