Thursday, May 13, 2010

Babywearing at the Movies

No, I'm not talking about wearing your baby to the movies (although Angelique and I did to see the movie Babies, which is awesome and you should see it).  And I'm not talking about those few famous scenes where a baby is worn in a movie (Hagrid with Harry in the first Harry Potter).  No, I'm talking about movies that you sit and watch and think, "you know what that person needs?  He/She needs a carrier!"

So, today we bring you, "Movies that would be better with babywearing."

Lord Of The Rings – Hobbits, children, same thing; you could have made the trip in only ONE movie with a little planning. “Oh no! Frodo’s gone wandering off!” “Well, if you hadn’t taken him out of the darn wrap this wouldn’t have happened!”

The Incredibles – So Elastigirl runs off to save her husband, leaving Jack Jack behind. Really, Lady? I’m sorry, but somewhere in that “Hey, I stretch.” gimmick shouldn’t there be room for a Moby? All I’m saying is: are we really going to call her a hero when she abandons her youngest?

The Secret Of Roan Inish – You have a choice: Carrier or Floating Crib. Which is better for the seaside? I know! The floating crib! Nothing can possibly go wrong with this idea during incoming tide!

Speed – If you ever have to change buses while they’re still moving at 55 mph, don’t you think it’d be nice to do so and have both of your hands free?

Psycho – Babywearing promotes healthy bonding time. Time Norman obviously could have used.

The Untouchables  - This movie is the one you should pull out every time someone asks you why you wear your child. I mean, how many times have you found yourself in the middle of a shootout surrounded by the Mob separated from your pram? This way, you don’t have to rely on the reflexes of a young, hot-headed policeman with something to prove.

The Hurt Locker – No wait, horrible idea. Scratch that.
Monsters Inc.  – Boo returned to her door in 25 minutes flat. Thank you, good job, good night. This movie teaches us one of the golden rules of parenthood. Daddy should never be left alone (or with another Daddy) with a child. Mommy should always be present lest wacky hijacks occur.

The Empire Strikes Back – In some scenes that ended up on the cutting room floor, Luke can be seen complaining that Yoda’s holding on too tightly. Does anyone really think that the 899 year old Master was washing his hands regularly? Luke, too eager to finish his training, could have easily wrapped Yoda and been able to concentrate on his training better. Had Luke even had a Bjorn handy, many Ewoks would have lived.

 Sweet Home Alabama - who can forget Reese Witherspoon drawling, "you have a baby... in a bar?"  Now, if baby had been cozily tucked in a mei tai, no one would have noticed her snoozing away while mom socialized.

So, what's your favorite "boy that character needs a carrier" moment in film?

This post brought to you by the mind of Corey 
and the terrible picture editing of Ann Marie

1 comment: