That's a Wrap!

“That” unfortunately, is my time living in Northern VA. We moved here just shy of three years ago, when I was pregnant with my now two year old. A few months before moving up here, we were briefly at Ft. Lee in Richmond, which is where we head back now to live. That was when I first met Ann Marie, who was president of BWI at the time, and doing my VBE test as I helped start a BWI chapter in Richmond before moving up here to join to DC.

Kit and Ann Marie met in Richmond

When we got up here, I had my 16m old daughter and a new one growing in my belly, and at my first meeting, I was SO overwhelmed by all the people. The group was huge! I remember walking in a few minutes late, after having gotten lost on the way to my first meeting (Burke) and Ann Marie stopping her talk to be like “This is Kit, she’s new. Say hi to Kit!” I wanted to run and hide. But I kept coming back, because even at that first meeting, I knew that this was the community I belonged in. I knew if I didn’t throw myself in to the meetings, we’d never leave the house, and in return my daughter got friends, and so did I.

After meeting lunches

   I had signed up to help with conference planning, and got support through my very hard pregnancy, including people showing up while I was on bedrest to keep my company and keep my little girl entertained. A few months later, they helped me through tandem wearing my two that were 2 and under while my husband went to training and then deployed. When my furnace went out in the dead of winter, it was the spouse of a babywearer who sent someone to fix it the same day so my kids and I didn’t freeze to death. When we realized that my youngest daughter had even more allergies than my first, it was experienced moms who were part of the babywearing group that walked me through the intricacies of navigating safe food, and even made me some! When I was driven to start a charity, it was a group member who said “Let’s do this!” and has been my better business half, and the group as a whole who have given us everything they can to support us, and even the husband of a group member who got his law firm to take on our nonprofit application! 

Mom's Night Out

    Whenever a military family moves, one of the first thing many do is look for social groups they think they have something in common with, just as a way to meet people. This was how I found my first babywearing group, and my second, and then my third up here. I expected to get outings; I did not expect to get life-long friends. People my children are in tears over leaving (and quite frankly, so am I, and I am NOT a crier).

BFFs forever

People that I knew would parent my children like I would, and love them like their own. I encourage everyone I know who’s moving with young kids to search for a community, because we all need one. This babywearing group became mine, and it was often my lifeline when things went awry. Help navigating diaper rash and croup and throwing up all night, but also girls nights and craft nights and “I’m bored. Let’s do something” and immediately having friends to see. There are many babywearing groups, but this one is mine, and while I love where I’m going, we will never ever forget where we’ve been, and who was with us. DC, you will be a tough act to follow.

Stupid adult-wearing tricks

Wearing a Baby? - Marni's Story

This post was originally shared on Marni's blog InsomniMama

When I let the word out that I was pregnant, my friend Lori was the first person to ask me, "Do you plan to wear him?" I had no idea what she was talking about. I had never really heard of "Attachment Parenting" or "Babywearing;"  I remembered my mom carrying my youngest sister in a Snugli, and I knew what a Baby Bjorn was. But the idea of "wearing" your baby was foreign to me - it sounded like some kind of accessory fad.

I did some preliminary research and acquired a Moby and a Baby Bjorn from a friend. When my sister had her baby six months before my due date, they opted for an Ergo. I saw them using it with my newborn nephew when I flew out to visit them; it seemed like just the thing I needed, too! Turned out Lori had one I could borrow, complete with an infant insert, or "baby burrito blanket," as I liked to call it. I was all set for accessorizing myself with an infant, I thought.

When I brought my preemie Munchkin home, I knew of the importance of skin-to-skin contact, and learned how to wrap him to my chest in the Moby by studying the instruction pictures, watching YouTube videos, and practicing the various wrap options. He was so tiny, that even in the "baby burrito blanket," he was completely dwarfed by the Ergo, and I didn't even try to figure out the Baby Bjorn. The Moby served us well in the first couple of months.

My husband preferred the Ergo. He proudly wrapped our itty bitty burrito guy and wanted to wear him for all of our walks - I, however, was obsessed by checking his head to make sure his chin wasn't tucked too much so he could breathe. (I know I drove poor hubby crazy.) From the start, our 4 1/2-pounder hated walks in the stroller; he wanted to be close to us, so we wore him every time.

Then came the fateful day, when the Munchkin was about to turn three months old, that it stopped working. This magical closeness that we had found was broken - he shrieked and squirmed and cried whenever I tried to wrap him or put him in the Ergo. I was terrified that I was hurting him, and he was still too small for the Baby Bjorn (which I still couldn't figure out how to use). I carried him constantly. My husband could help me wrap the baby in the Moby if he was asleep, but when he woke, there was hell to pay. 

The worst was one day in a parking lot, when I tried, unsuccessfully, to put him in the Ergo for 20 minutes; I was nursing him to keep him from screaming bloody murder while I tried to get him in position, and pacing back-and-forth between my open car doors. I finally gave up, got back in the car and went home. I was frazzled and confused - I wanted to wear him because of the emotional bond we were forming, and the practicality of being able to use both my hands, but if it made him miserable, how could I?

My friend Karen saw my painful posts on FB and introduced me to her friend Nancy, who in turn directed me to Babywearing International's MD/DC/VA chapter. I never thought there would actually be a group devoted to teaching people something like babywearing - aren't we innately supposed to know how to do this? (ha!) I read their blog posts, and saw that there was a meeting at the library up the street from my house just 4 days away. Tears began streaming down my face. I couldn't believe my luck!

As with any new endeavor, I was a bit nervous to go - what if they laughed at my complete ineptitude with my baby accessorizing? But I grabbed my Moby, Ergo, and Baby Bjorn, and the Munchkin and I headed out for our library to see what this was all about.

I was early - the first to arrive - but when the moms and babies started showing up, I felt like I was home. (There happened to be no Dads at this meeting.) We all introduced ourselves, and before long, we had formed a nursing circle on the floor while older children played nearby. Each of us had our own reasons for being there, and questions we needed answered, and each need was addressed in turn, along with demonstrations of different wraps and carriers I had never seen before, and kind and gentle advice from all of the Volunteer Babywearing Educators (VBEs) present.

As soon as I told them what had been happening with Munchkin, each of the VBEs said, "Oh, he probably wants his feet out," as I had been wrapping him with his feet pressed to me in a kind of frog-style scrunch. They showed me a Mei Tai (pronounced "may tie" - a square of fabric with four long straps attached at the corners) from their lending library of carriers, helped me put the Munchkin in it, and he promptly fell asleep. It was a miracle. I didn't want to give this magic carrier back - I became a member on the spot so I could "check out" this Mei Tai for a month (a privilege afforded to members), and see if the magic could be repeated at home.

After the meeting, all the Moms went to lunch together, and they coached me through nursing him discreetly in the carrier while at the table so I could actually eat my meal - a whole new world was unfolding before me. We were out that day from 10am to almost 4pm - my longest outing with the Munchkin at that time - and I was giddy with excitement when I got home and showed my husband the magical carrier and relayed the day's events.

The Mei Tai worked. Munchkin happily went on walks with us again, feet out, experiencing the world, nursing in the carrier, and continuing to build our close-knit bond. Each month I went back to the meetings and tried new carriers - other Mei Tai brands, ring slings, woven wraps. I'll keep going back, because there are more carriers I want to try as Munchkin grows and changes, but also because I've come to adore the strong, loving mothers I've met there. (Again, Daddies do attend - I just haven't met any yet!) I learn so much from each of these amazing women about my own parenting choices

every time I go, and both Munchkin and I have a blast in their company.

I have since sold the Baby Bjorn, nearly retired the Moby, realized the Ergo fits my husband but not me, and purchased my own Mei Tai and ring sling, both of which I use almost every day (the Mei Tai for walks, and the ring sling for errands or around the house). I am also the proud owner of a babywearing coat, thanks to my in-laws' generous Christmas gift, that fits over both Munchkin and I when the weather requires it. My husband keeps asking me, when we go on walks, if I want to put the boy in the stroller or wear him. It's a ridiculous question, I think. When he's in the carrier, I can see him, talk to him, point things out to him, know if he sees what I'm seeing, nurse him if he needs it, and he can fall asleep on my chest. Very soon, sooner than I care to think about, he's going to want to get down and run around on his own. These moments are fleeting. I love the bond that babywearing gives us, and I'll wear him as long as I'm able.

 

Posted by Marni

Just what does one DO at a Babywearing Meeting?

This is a question I hear often.  How do you meet about babywearing?  Well, let me give you an overview of what you might do at a meeting:

1. Learn about carrier types
Confused about what type of carrier would work best for you?  Not sure what makes a pouch or ring sling different from a mei tai or soft structured carrier.  Confused how wraps work?  Wonder which style will be best for spring hikes, or which will look nice at your cousin's June wedding?  We have examples and can help you choose a style that works with your needs.  You can also make use of our extensive library to try carriers and determine which one  (or two, or three, or ten - okay, some of MAY have a FEW too many carriers, but don't tell our husbands) is right for you.

2. Learn how to wear a newborn, infant, or toddler safely and comfortably

Babywearing is a skill, and like all skills, it requires instruction and practice.  Since it is a skill involving your baby, it really isn't one that should be left up to trial and error.  While pressing the wrong keys on your first computer might cause you to wipe the hard drive, incorrect babywearing could lead to injury for your little one.  Hands on help is the easiest way to learn how to use carriers correctly and safely.  There are at least two Certified Volunteer Babywearing Educators at each of our meetings ready to share their knowledge and skills. 

3. Learn new carries with carriers you already use

Ready to move on to hip or back carries?  Trying to master nursing in a sling?  Need to learn to wear 2?  Now is the chance!  Babywearing meetings are a great place to troubleshoot new carries or to find a solution to a wearing problem you are having.  For example, we often have people come into their first meeting stating that they LOVE their stretchy wrap at home and wish they could use it out of the house, but it is so hard to wrap in the parking lot.  The new mommy brain is clogged with so much information that the suggestion of, "wrap before you leave the house" is often met with a lightbulb moment and mama saying, "why didn't I think of that?"  We aren't going to teach you rocket science, but we can help you get through your daily tasks more easily.

4. Make friends for yourself AND your children

Babywearing meetings are also a place where parents can just hang out and chat, about the weather, about the newest infant development ideas, and about which store sells the best tomatoes.  For new parents, often the opportunity to have a conversation with other adults about ANYTHING is worth it's weight in gold.  For your children, they can grow to have good friends that they enjoy seeing and playing with at the meetings.  Some meetings we even go to a nearby playground and let the kids loose.

5. Discover the secrets of the mom who has it all together

I'll be honest, usually the secret is that she doesn't really have it all together. But sometimes a tip or trick picked up at a babywearing meeting is the thing that has everyone in your family admiring how cleverly you handle your little one, and the big family dinner.  And often, the best thing in the world as a new parent is to realize that the other parents don't know some magic formula that they forgot to tell you about at delivery.  But if we combine our collective knowledge, we can each become a better parent.

Hopefully this overview has enticed you to attend a meeting.  We have a lot of fun, learn a lot, and make some great friends.  The moms and dads I have met through Beltway Babywearers are kind, friendly, helpful, and are always willing to laugh at me, lest I get too impressed with myself.