Let's Get Real...

I've observed a disturbing trend lately in the online babywearing world.  A parent says, "I have a new baby, I've heard of ring slings and mei tais, which ones are good?" and the immediate reply is "you need a custom wrap conversion from *high end maker*."  Or a parent will say, "I have a 6mo old and a *standard carrier*.  How long can I expect this to work for my pumpkin?"  And someone immediately jumps in with, "you should get a toddler *brand* because pumpkin is going to outgrow *standard carrier* very soon."  Or "wow I can't believe your 6mo old can fit that carrier, mine outgrew it when she was a month old."  Or my favorite, "you need to get a REAL carrier, like a woven wrap made of *special fabric blend*.  I truly believe these folks really do want to be helpful.  I think, like a game of internet telephone, they are repeating what they heard from someone who heard it from someone else who also heard it from someone else and it grew (or shrank) with each retelling.  So, I'm hoping to help reset the telephone game and provide a reference point for when you hear the game getting out of control again.

Here are a few babywearing truths you need to know BEFORE you can adequately share the love:

1.  If you wear your baby... you are a REAL babywearer. 
 I've had so many people say to me at meetings, "I want to learn more so I can be a REAL babywearer.  I only have a frontpack or big box store soft-structured carrier."  Babywearing isn't like the Velveteen Rabbit.  An expensive German-style-woven doesn't shed a thread into the ground to grow a fairy and make you into a REAL babywearer.  You ARE a real babywearer, don't let anyone tell you that you aren't.  Even if you measure in yards or inches.  Even if you own "only" one carrier, and even if you made that carrier in your kitchen or bought it from a BigBox store, you ARE a real babywearer.

A "REAL" Babywearer

Also a REAL babywearer with her real DIY mei tai (and awesome matching headband)

2. Babywearing is a SKILL and not a product.  Let me repeat, Babywearing is NOT a product that you buy.

Towel kanga at the beach

Pillowcase and duct tape podegi from the
first Babywearing Conference Emergency
Wearing class

    









You do not need a carrier to babywear.  You're shocked right now, aren't you?  It's true, a product may well make it EASIER for you to babywear, but it isn't the end all and be all.  If you have the SKILL of babywearing, you can use any carrier, as well as a large variety of *not a carrier* to carry your baby/toddler.  For example, a sheet,  towel, or pillowcase and duct tape can be used in a pinch.  For more examples, check out my emergency babywearing posts.





3. No carrier works for everyone.
  Have you ever had a friend tell you, "omigosh, I just got the most amazing shoes, you HAVE to get some."  You head to the store and the shoes pinch your toes or your feet swim in the shoes, or you just think they look like boats on your feet?  Carriers are like that.  The one I think is awesome may be misery for you.  Brand doesn't matter. The Latest-Greatest doesn't matter. Does it fit your child?  Is it comfortable? Does it fit your aesthetics and more importantly budget? If so, it's a good choice for YOU.

Ouch that rubs!

4. Toddler carriers are not made for the moment your baby can toddle.
    Most toddler carriers don't properly fit children in the 90+ percentile for height/weight until after 2.  So, most kids have been running for a long time before they fit a toddler carrier properly.  A too small child in a large carrier is at risk of over-extending their knees and hips.  I'd go so far as to say this is much MORE not ideal than a baby/child in a narrow carrier, and a too small baby is certainly at risk of getting lost in the fabric and possibly suffocating.  In this way, smaller is better than bigger.

Too tall: Bamberoo, 5mo

Toddler Kinderpack, 13.5mo, has been walking for 5mo

Carrier is too tall and too wide.  You can see the side of the carrier

where the buckle is sits well past her leg bend

5. Toddler carriers aren't necessary to wear a toddler, or preschooler, or elementary schooler, or high schooler.... and there is no such thing as "toddler worthy."  If a toddler is in it, it's worthy.
   Okay, I'll admit, wearing a high schooler wouldn't be my first choice, but if I had a standard carrier and I had an injured high schooler I needed to carry, I'd make use of that standard carrier like a boss.  In general, you don't wear big toddlers for multiple hours a day like you might with an infant.  So, if the carrier/wrap isn't the MOST comfortable carrier to ever hold a kid, so what?  You're wearing for 15-20min, maybe an hour tops.  Are there situations where a toddler carrier makes sense?  Sure.  Special needs kids who might be worn more often, kids who struggle with new situations and might be worn more often, parents with an injury that requires more support, or even a parent who just wants one for their toddler, all of these might make a toddler carrier make sense, but let's stop saying everyone needs one, and especially not with a 12mo old.



ErgoBaby  15yr old, Diane is SO Boss

I want folks to share their babywearing knowledge.  I want them to share how awesome it is to wear their babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.  However, I implore you to not let your want for a new carrier sound like a NEED to a new wearer.  Do you want a new carrier because it's pretty?  Awesome, if you have the means, buy it.  Do you want a toddler carrier?  Awesome, if you have the means, buy one.  Do you want a wrap made of unicorn hair?  Awesome, if you have the means, buy one.  Do you want a wrap conversion carrier made with the latest-greatest wrap du jour?  Awesome, if you have the means, buy one. There's nothing wrong with wanting a carrier or wrap, but PLEASE, stop telling new wearers they NEED those carriers. This discourages people from trying babywearing, it makes it seem like it must be very expensive and exclusive. The consumerist attitude also pushes out and discourages long term educators.

Recently, I've heard of folks telling women who founded the modern babywearing movement, women who are leaders in advocacy and the establishment of babywearing as an acceptable universal practice that they aren't REAL babywearers.  To be frank, How DARE they?  Even if she was a new mom who'd been wearing for a week, where does anyone get the right to tell others their babywearing isn't real enough for them? 

Remember as advocates, our first goal should always be to help them work with what they have.  If what they have truly won't work for them, start with a few examples of carriers that will do the job that are easy to find at a reasonable price point.  If someone wants to jump down the collector's rabbit hole, they can make that decision on their own without feeling pressured to do so.  So, I ask you to take this time to become familiar with these carriers that I have heard "can't" carry a child over 8-12mo.  Notice the wide variety of sizes that children of the same age are.  Notice that all of the pairs seem to be wearing and at the very least content with their *not specifically toddler* carrier. 

Kozy Mei Tai

Kozy Mei Tai, 4.5yrs 48lbs



Kozy Mei Tai, 4yrs old

Onya Baby

 

Onya Baby, 4yrs old



Onya Baby, 7yrs old


 

Onya Baby, 4yrs 40lbs



Ergo Baby
Perhaps the carrier MOST often disparaged as "too small"

Ergo Performance, 5yr old 
 

4yrs, 42lbs




5yrs, about 35lbs

 

3.5yrs, 99th percentile height/weight






Ergo Sport, 4yrs, 40lbs, 42"



But what if s/he is a leaner?

 It's true, a leaning kid can be uncomfortable, but kids can be taught. 

I teach them that there is no climbing out of the cart at Target,

I teach them that they can't run into the street,

and I teach them that if they want to be carried, they can't lean.

Assorted SSCs



Beco Butterfly, 4yrs, 40lbs, 42"





Beco Gemini - often seen as a "small baby" carrier, but it can still do the job at 4yrs, 40lbs

Action Baby Carrier, 5yrs, 35lbs. 

Pikkolo, another notorious "small baby" carrier,  4yrs old, no support belt added

 

Boba, 3 yrs, 29lbs, 34.74"



Boba, 5yrs, 35lbs





Assorted Mei Tais and Half Buckles

Babyhawk 4yrs, 40lbs, 42"



Kindercarry Standard, almost 6yrs old, makes any hospital trip better





Nuzzle Me, Recruit size, 4yrs, 40lbs, 42"

Ring Slings



Ring Sling 4yrs, 40lbs, 42" 
Also an example why the crazy long sling craze is not a good plan

Wraps

I often hear that certain materials or brands of woven wrap aren't "toddler worthy."  Nonsense.

 Didymos Standard line, cotton, 4yr old

 Little Frog, cotton, one of the most inexpensive wraps you can buy, 5yr old

 Girasol, cotton, 6yr old

Old Girasol, the one with a "wrong side," these were already considered
not "toddler worthy" when I started wearing. 50lbs.

Little Frog, cotton, inexpensive, 60lb 6yr old 48", and her 4yr old sister who said, "I wanna go up in the rainbow too!" 

 Amauti

Traditional Inuit Amauti, 8yr old 

Admittedly, this isn't a "Standard" carrier for our area, but it is SO cool (or warm),

and can carry a wide variety of kid sizes

Thanks for reading, and happy baby-toddler-and-big-kidwearing!

 Thanks to the babywearers from around the country (and Canada) who contributed photos for this piece.



Membership Has Its Privileges

 

It's been an exciting few months here at BWI of DC-MD-VA.  We've added several new carriers over the last six months.  We've won a few, had a few donated, and purchased a large number with YOUR membership and fundraising money.

What do we do with the carriers?  Well, we now keep SIX sling libraries, one for every regular meeting location.  Not every library has the exact same brand selection, but there IS a good variety of sizes and styles in each location.  We've added 3 meetings and libraries in the past year (Ashburn, MD, and most recently Lorton).  Our meetings are always open to the public and we are able to serve more families with these new meetings.  Our library carriers are available for all caregivers to try at our meetings, completely free of charge!  Parents and caregivers have the opportunity to try a variety of carriers with their infant, and get instruction for use and adjustments from a Volunteer Babywearing Educator during our meetings.  We LOVE helping caregivers find the carrier that will allow them to care for their baby AND get themselves a glass of water!

However, sometimes you are at a meeting and think, "well, this is pretty good, but I wonder how I'll like it for running in to get her brother from preschool?"  Members can try out that awesome carrier for the preschool run, because members can borrow one carrier at a time for a one month period for their entire membership.  Membership is $30 for a year.  So, you could theoretically try a new carrier every month.  Or you could determine the first one you borrowed was perfect and decide to get your own, but during the rest of your year you might like to borrow a special sling to go to a wedding, or a water carrier for your vacation, or you might just occasionally like to try something different for a change of pace.  Membership gives you that chance.

Finally,  your membership allows us the opportunity to help more families.  We use membership funds to purchase business cards so you can get the word out about us.  We use funds for flyers and other administrative needs (like bags to carry the libraries), and most importantly, we use the funds to help us expand the libraries and fill new libraries as we add new meeting locations.

So, wanna see some of the new stuff?  Have you gotten to try some at a meeting?  Let us know what you think about our new carriers in the comments!

On to the goodies:

Donation from Boba of an SSC, Boba Air, and Boba Wrap

From International Babywearing Week, an Earthy Bliss and a Moby Go

Lillebaby donated this Lillebaby Complete

We bought an Ellevil and a Beco Gemini on Craigslist

Cherry Blossoms size 3, discounted from Birdie's Room

Also part of our Birdie's Room discount pack

Also from our Birdie's Room discount box

We won this Oscha from the IBW video contest!

We bought this Toddler size Action Baby Carrier

Mel from Kindercarry gave us a great discount on these

Baby Bjorn sent us a carrier for each of our libraries!



Infantino donated these to our libraries!

We traded a carrier that wasn't getting love for this Kokadi Wunderland.

Action shot of one of the Little Frogs!

From our Little Frog Fundraiser, we added 
Little Frogs for each library
We also had Jan at Sleeping Baby Productions
split a long wrap into 2 ring slings




We've bought a couple of Infantino Mei Tais.

 

We won this from Wrap Your Baby!
 

We got this Mei Tai Baby off Craigslist

Tula gave us a nice discount on these standard size carriers!

We also just won a Maya Wrap from Maya Wrap!  This will probably replace a Maya we have that is getting long in the tooth.  I'll post a picture of that when it arrives.

This Kinderpack was a recent donation from a member aging out of wearing!

We are so grateful to all of the vendors and manufacturers who have supported us with donations or discounts.  We want to remind everyone that if you try a carrier at our meeting, and later buy one, please tell the manufacturer that you purchased because of learning about them from us.  We rely on their support and it helps them to know that we appreciate their donations and discounts a great deal.  Also, several vendors have started points programs that a certain number of purchases by members of a group can result in an eventual carrier for the group, so don't forget to mention us at checkout.

 

Happy Babywearing!

Babywearing on Board: Two Tots on a Cruise

What's better than a Caribbean cruise in December? Not much! Once again, we decided to cruise stroller-free. If this was a bold move two years back with one ten-month old, it was an even bolder move this time around with a 16-month old and a not-quite-three-year old. As hoped for, babywearing gave us great freedom for adventures big and small. Here’s where babywearing took us this time…

A steep mountain hike



 



 

Behind-the-Scenes onboard: backstage in the theatre, the galley, and the bridge  

 

     

A rainforest trail

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Water taxi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Surviving the Airport:
Long security lines (not pictured)
Makeshift highchair (pictured)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dancing 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Naps on-the-go

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Portable snuggles for a teething baby (plus milk on the move)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 And gratuitous fun: recreating the same shot from two years ago.
 

2011









2013













This post was originally published on More Green For Less Green

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